Fighting against fowler's

Waiting for your appointments to come through the letter box and it's effects on your mental health. When you have ran out of non drastic options and it's now left to the BIG SCARY LIFE ALTERING OPTIONS you pray each day you will get a letter from the hospital asking you to come see a consultant but as each day passes and nothing comes it really effects your mental health especially when your in so much pain your bed bound most days you start to think will it ever happen and will you ever get rid of the pain will things ever get better. You get so depressed and numb with it and no one will or can help you. You want to give up so badly and you have no idea how you can carry on because this illnesses had destroyed your life you have lost your friends because you just mess everything up you can't do what you dreamed of doing with your life your stuck in one place just waiting and trying to get through a day and you just feel like you have lost everyone and everything. ...

So with any chronic illness we all suffer with depression at some point Me I have suffered since I was about 14 I'm now 24 and my depression goes up and down with all the pain and not sleeping and medication there is no surprise you get depression but we have to think of good things and things that make us happy . This is what makes me happy  1. Having cuddles with Stephen 2. Seeing my friends Tracy and aiden  3. Having cuddles with my babies ( my cats)  4. Going for a drive with my dad and Stephen 5. Doing my hobbies ( crochet / knitting / colouring / scrapbooking and many more ) I hide my depression because I find it hard to talk about I find it hard to tell someone how I'm feeling and recently I did a very big thing for me I talked to my gp about it I am now waiting for therapy which I am terrified about but I need to do it to help me cope better this is very hard for me to openly tell people but in doing it.  Depression is nothing to be ashamed ...