January update
First thing I hope you all had a great Christmas and a new year's ours was quiet with some friends
😑😑😑
So I want to start by saying so sorry it's
taken me so long to give you all an update which is what I plan to do now but please patient with me as so so much has happened
(18th September )
So in September my dad had a massive stroke lost his memories and speech some weakness sever confusing and speech impairment but he's alive that's all that's matters he scared the blooming cr**p out of me he also had a couple of seizures as well we thought it was a heart attack when he phoned me to go to him I was a mess for months I wasn't eating sleeping seeing anyone and just doing nothing I lost around 3 stone it was a huge shock to me and didn't help my depression because 2 weeks after my dad had the stroke something very big happened that has effected me mentally I thought I was going to loose my daddy that day
(29th September )
So 2 weeks after my dads stroke I had to
Go into hospital for Endometral ablation
Endometrial ablation destroys a thin layer of the lining of the uterus. Menstrual bleeding does not stop but is reduced to normal or lighter levels. If ablation does not control heavy bleeding, further treatment or surgery may be needed.
So as you can imagine been 24 years old with multiple chronic illnesses having your chance to have children taken away from you yes I could have kept going with how heavy my periods or the sever pains but I couldn't take it no more I was bleeding for 2 weeks minimum have a few days off and back on again I was constantly anaemic and it was getting to the point where I was going to be needing transfusions soon if it kept on like this my other health issues also effect my fertility anyway I'm a big hormonal mess about this so I was only in for the day but my lord the pain was crazy ( had so many drugs in recovery) they wanted me to stay in but I just wanted to get home to be with Stephen and my kitties I didn't want to go to the gyne ward so I got home got in bed and was out like a light sadly the surgery didn't help at all so it's looking like I will need a hysterectomy (PLEASE DON'T SAY DON'T DO IT OR YOUR TO YOUNG OR YOU WILL REGRET IT OR WHY IF THEY CAN'T FIND OUT WHATS CAUSING IT I have had every test known to man including exploratory surgery nothing apart from pcos and sever scare tissue in my pelvis so that's that never going to try be a good mummy as in far to poorly to adopt
As you can see still the usual crap going on a new thing is the pus in my pee and I mean a lot it blocked my night bag
(30th October )
I saw the the specialist urologist to discuss what needs do happen next in a short answer ( Ok so he's going to have a look in my bladder but basically it will be a urostomy or a mitroffanof I need as I can't have the suprapubic long term as it will eventually cause cancer so once he's had a look we go from there with what he can do both huge Operations and life changing my man. Worry is which silk help my infections I asked this question and he said he couldn't say which one would be best so back to the start on that so I have my cystocooy on the 18th Jan 2018 and we should know more in the next few months and I bloody tell you something it's shitting scary big time even worse with my dad needing my help with things still and many many things can go wrong in these 2 surgeries my life is just a huge mess right now including my head
Crying at stupid things panic attacks insomnia pain flare ups been exhausted and just wanted to hide away from the whole world bit my dad needed me as I am the only family near by and he's my dad .
So what else oh iv had about another million infections my latest one literally had puss in my catheter tube and all in my night bag it was minging took 3 appointments and 2 urine samples to get some antibiotics
Christmas was quiet some of my dad's friends came up as he wasn't well enough to go away with them for Christmas we all had a lovely few days nye I was in bed with a cuppa and my Crochet.
Speaking of crochet I have decided to crochet my self a granny squares blanket crochet and sewing keeps my mind off things and it's something I can really enjoy knowing people helped me some amazing volunteers have offered to help me making squares for my blanket now this blanket is for when in feeling crap or had surgery or just feeling lonely because each square that is sent to me has been made by someone who cares for me and I just think its so special DO NOY FEEL PRESSURED LIKE I AM BEGGING but if anyone would like to help make any squares for my blanket I was be so greatfull but please don't feel you have to I am making 6.5inch squares mainly using do or arran as long as it measures 6.5 inches here is what I have so far this is my squares and the squares laid out.
Crochet and knitting have helped me so much been ill depression hits you like a brick I was a right bitch till I found a way to keep busy now I can't put the hook down
So apart from me been an emotional wreck and feeling like in going to have a breakdown that's roughly what's been going on since September I have been extremely low my lowest in years I have lost 3 stone due to stress trying to keep my self busy otherwise I go crazy so keeping my self busy with my crochet hence the blanket people are even donating yarn if they can't crochet shows there is still some nice people in the world so if anyone wants to send me a square email me at tlcjs@live.co.uk for my details
And I want to say a huge thank you to my other half Stephen he's been amazing he always is he's got me threw the last few months that have been so hard I couldn't have done that without him and obviously it's been really hard on us now as I can't have children he's helped me so so so much with helping my dad wish I could give him what he dose for me xxx
Talk soon tia xx
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