THINGS ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE !!!!

This isn't urology related xxx

Hey everyone i am very sorry I haven't been around had a lot going on and I'm about to share this with you all I ask is if you don't like what I'm saying or think I'm making the wrong choice please keep it to yourself this is a very complex thing so not a usual case I need your support not to make me feel worse anyway.

some of you may know i have had a lot of women's problems from been about 8 years old extremely heavy bleeding extreme pain which would put me in a hospital every time I had a period I was on birth control at around 11 years old due to severe bleeding causing me to become anemic and often pass out anyway the birth control had no effect just made it worse in 2010 I got diagnosed with PCOS also linked to fowlers syndrome to anyway things got worse and worse over about 5 years I have tried 
*8 marina coils
*the combined pill to many times to count
* the implant x 3
* the depo injection x2
* the progesterone only pill again to many times to count
* the vaginal ring
* the contraceptive patch
*tranexamic acid way too many times
* NSIAD'S
* norethisterone way too many times and even had unlicenced dosages to try to top it 
* norethisterone and tranexamic acid together way too many times
* (GN-RH ) injections did 3 cycles
*danazol x 2
* exploratory surgery 
* and last year I had endometrial ablation 

but sadly the endometrial ablation did work I was still bleeding most days and the pain increased I have no known condition I've seen every specialist possible had every treatment had every test had every procedure they cant find out whats wrong sadly due to the PCOS I don't ovulate and now the time has come I will be having a 

full abdominal hysterectomy sadly due to my catheter and my previous surgeries it makes it tricky and I have severe scar tissue in my pelvis one ovary is stuck behind my womb and another is tangled and glued in my bowel with scar tissue so he cant do this keyhole i will have around a 12cm to 15cm scar depending both ovaries will be removed along with both fallopian tubes and my cervix I will be in the menopause at age 25 due to surgically induced menopause 

this is breaking my heart so flipping much anyone who knows how much I love children, yes I know I have options but we don't know if I will get well enough to adopt but it hurts so much I feel I am letting people down or for not trying hard enough I hate that I will never give Stephen a child feel even worse I will never give my mum and dad grandchild  just feel heartbroken I feel numb but also feel every emotion possible 


I also need to have my hysterectomy before my bladder surgery as if I had it the other way around the hysterectomy would destroy the bladder surgery so I will be going in around the 9th of August I am terrified no idea what to take in with me apart from my crochet ha ha i feel so scared of the changes ahead that's going to completely change my body hopefully for the best but its still scary having an open full hysterectomy at the age of 25 and then going to be in the menopause and not having any children my heart is aching.

so I'm not busy trying to sort things for when I am in my hospital bag some new jammies comfy clothes and essentials and maybe a few teddies some of my homemade ones I love homemade gifts there is so much love in them and truly do make me feel better.

once I know more I will let you know my head just feels scrambled feel free to cheer me up could use all the support and love I can get going to be a very very hard few months mentally and physically.

love to you all share away
xxxxxxxxx



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