Some exciting news

Some big big news !!!!

So on the 29th of may I will be going in to my local hospital again to have a full radical hysterectomy as we had planned for last year but had a sever asthma attack and needed ICU and a ventilator for 12 hours

After months of waiting and testing. I will be having  my total radical hysterectomy on the 29th of may terrified is not the word to describe how I am feeling it's going to be a massive recovery and a painful one at that

So many things Are so scary my body is going to change so abruptly since I am having a total hysterectomy and a bilateral  salpingo oopherectomy I will have a surgically induced menopause I have had 3 synthetic menopases and they where so harsh on the body I have no idea how it will hit me till it does and these aren't like the synthetic menopases this scares me so much how much is it going to change need and my body I don't want to be moody it snappy all the time just hope hrt helps a lot

I feel so lost right now I am just heart broken it has come to this but my body can't take much more and I can't the pain is so bad now even morphine isn't helping a bit but it's really knocked my depression and anxiety big time spend most of the time either wanting left alone or crying

Mainly crying fir my Gran I miss her so much she got me through when I went in for it last year she rang me multiple times a day just so I couldn't hear the newborns I miss her so so much and don't know if I can do this without her I remember been in hospital for a operation if my kidneys I was about 3 and every day Gran would come up to visit and bring sunny D ( still my favorite) grapes and Smarties every single day it's the little things like that I miss but most of all I miss been able to pick up the phone and cry to get and fir her to tell me how strong I am and how I Need to keep busy and I will always be her baby girl I miss her so much

Just want to say thank you to a couple of people for sending me a get well card and gift for surgery you have no idea how much I appreciate cards and gifts there such an amazing thing then on a day when you just can't go on or a really crappy pain day and then getting a special parcel that's why I love sending handmade gifts to people it can really really brightens up someone's day and make them feel that little bit better

If anyone else wants to send anything please email tlcjs@live.co.uk
and I will pass you my address

So in 14 days I will be going in for surgery which I could be in theater for up to 12 hours as it's such a mess in there now all that's left to do is attend about a million appointments before

My cousin Sarah will be here by my side again so im really happy about that

Oh and must buy some nighties and undies going in to hospital can be so expensive when you don't have anything

So yes so much crying and depressed moments so all my friends and family please be patient I can't move on having a full total hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo oopherectomy at the age in 26 with no children and Full blown menopause and between (13 inch to 20 inch ) scar going down my stomach I am such a mess

So everyone wish me luck I am going to need it because I don't feel string at all now I feel a big crumbling faliure especially as a women

Love you all lots not sure when I will post next  but remember you can find me on Facebook at (my life with Fowler's syndrome ) and remember if you want to send anything please email tlcjs@live.co.uk and I will give you my address

All my love tia xxxx